He was the one: always laughing. You could easily find him in the pub, on a crowded Friday afternoon, your hands heavy, carrying the cheapiest beer available, while you pushed yourself through the crowd, hearing his laugh from afar. You heard him, before you saw him. He was the one who made you laugh, laugh till your eyes filled with tears and you nearly cannot catch a breath – he was the one who made you smile on an awful work day, after the break-up, while you were drunk crying, laying ill in bed, exhausted.
He was cheerful, the happiness in person but a laugh is just a different way to hide your tears. His life was tough, tough indeed. Things he couldn’t explain properly tortured his soul. He tried one, two times to put it in words but it wasn’t right, it wasn’t exactly what he meant and his visavis didn’t really understood it – so why bother? Who takes about his feelings nowadays anyway. So if somebody asked him, how he was doing, or his sister he just smiled and nodded and said fine, while it definetly wasn’t like that. But no one ever noticed. He laughed, laughed and joked, at first badly, than better, one day his bad conscious just went away, he felt less and less and finally he didn’t even had to make a great effort. He laughed, he always laughed, until he went dead inside.
- Alisa de Winter
I Picture found on Pinterest I